Parenting Tips

PARENTING TIPS

How to Help Your Teen to Become More Resilient

 

Being resilient means being able to bounce back despite life’s challenges. We want our kids to be resilient because it can help them avoid risky choices.

 

We can help our teens become more resilient by improving our relationships with them. Strong relationships with parents and caregivers can help teens feel happier and more prepared to face life’s challenges.

Research shows that the following ideas can be helpful:

  • Be warm, supportive, and encouraging. When we show aloha to our teens no matter what, even when frustrated, it teaches them that they can trust us during hard times.

  • Listen carefully to your teen. Avoid interrupting, show your interest, and keep the conversation going by asking open-ended questions.

  • Recognize and accept your teen’s feelings as being understandable. Put yourself in your teen’s shoes and imagine how she might feel. Rather than questioning her feelings or attempting to make the feelings go away, try acknowledging their feelings. Instead of saying, “Don’t worry about it,” try saying, “Wow, that sounds stressful.”

  • Make it a priority to have regular family time. Create opportunities to talk with your teen. Discuss things he would like to do together, such as fishing, cooking, or a shared project. Make sure he feels that talking with him is the priority for you, not the activity.

  • Take a break. If you or your teen are having a hard time keeping your cool, gently request to pause the conversation until both of you feel more calm.

  • Remember that you have more influence with your teen than you may realize. It is normal for teens to be emotional, irritable, and to talk with friends more than with family. Know that your teen needs your support and direction anyway.

Raising a child is one of the hardest jobs there is, and we all need some extra support and ideas sometimes.

Consider taking advantage of some of our island’s resources for parents and caregivers. You might be surprised by how much it can help your family. Parenting education is offered by Child & Family Service, which can be reached at (808) 245-5914, and Lili’uokalani Trust, which can be reached at (808) 245-1873.

For information on adolescents and parenting, check out the following resources:

    1. Tips for Communicating With Your Teen

    2. Adolescent Development

    3. The Parent Line, a free state-wide, confidential phone line. They are Hawaii’s premier resource on child behavior, child development, parenting, caregiver support, and community resources. They can help to problem-solve parenting challenges and child and adolescent behavior. Hours are Monday-Friday 8am-6pm and Saturday-Sunday 9am-1pm. Call 526-1222 or 1-800-816-1222

    4. Later Haters: AT&T’s partnership with Cartoon Network to stop cyberbullying